


Fallen

by Eve1978



Series: Caged/Torn/Fallen [3]
Category: Loki - Fandom, Tom Hiddleston - Fandom
Genre: Action & Romance, Apocalypse nowish, Character Death, Drama & Romance, F/M, Mild Smut, Minor Violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-03-10
Updated: 2018-09-13
Packaged: 2018-10-02 06:58:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 16,667
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10212074
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Eve1978/pseuds/Eve1978
Summary: Set after the events of Torn. Loki falls from the sky and brings something with him, something that may threaten the entire human race.This is a rewrite of one of my first stories, be gentle ;)





	1. Chapter 1

it was still early on that particular Friday morning and it looked to be another grey and gloomy day in the city of London. I had just woken up and was taking my time to stare at him lying next to me in the bed.

His eyes were still closed but I couldn’t tell if he was still sleeping. He looked so peaceful and calm, not to mention beautiful.  
After a few minutes I got up from the bed and walked towards the window, 

I smiled when I heard him move out of the bed and walking towards me. He put his arm around my waist and pulled me close, burying his face into the crook of my neck.

‘This can’t keep happening, you know,’ I let my hands run through his hair and leaned into him.

‘I know,’ he whispered.

‘I mean it, Tom,’ I turned around to face him, looking into those blue eyes,’ this was the last time, it has to be.’

He nodded his head but he kept smiling and he leaned in to kiss me, ignoring my words and knowing I would never resist him. I kissed him back and allowed myself to disappear into his embrace and his warmth.

He held me in his arms for a while longer but we both knew the moment was over. We let go of each other, he went to the bathroom to take a shower while I put my clothes on.

It’s been 3 years, almost to the day now, since Loki left. 

Life calmed down after that, I learned how to live on my own and not hate life as much as I did before. 

And then Tom kissed me at the Thor movie premiere and I actually started to love life. It was like we were living a fairy tale, after Loki I never thought I would ever love someone like that again but Tom made me forget all about that. It was the happiest time of my life.

But of course it didn’t last, after 1,5 years the first cracks started to show. It wasn’t us, we were fine and our love was as strong as ever, but love wasn’t enough.

I know, it sounds like the worst excuse ever but that’s how it was, we loved each other but then there was life, circumstances, reality.

And it was far from a fairy tale.

Tom’s career had really lifted off, he was traveling so much and was abroad for several months at a time while I was left alone in London every time.   
I missed him like crazy in the beginning, then it got a little bit better, until I just got used to it.   
And I knew it was the same for him because when I told him we might both be better off alone he didn’t fight it, not even for a second.

There was no sad drama or big fight, we knew we would still see each other but our lives pointed in different directions and there was no point in postponing the inevitable, that would only hurt us both more.

After living alone for a couple of months life started to wear me down again, I was tired of the bookstore and doing the same thing every day, I wanted something more exciting.   
I wanted something to get out of bed for every morning, just something that made life worth living and gave me some sense of purpose.

Faith lended me a hand by letting me run into Marcus one evening. He took me out for coffee and offered me my job back at SHIELD but with a few upgrades. 

I would be trained for interrogating criminals and helping with some of the more important cases, working my way up to that of course but I jumped at the chance.  
It sounded like exactly the right amount of excitement I was looking for. More than that, it was a lifeline and I grabbed it with both hands.

So now, another several months later, I was living in a new apartment in the middle of London, close to the SHIELD building while Tom was mostly living in America working on his latest films.   
We still saw each other every few months when he came back to London, and yes several of those meetings we ended up in bed together.

I still couldn’t resist him, I probably never would but at the same time I knew I was over him. It didn’t hurt to see him leave anymore and I wasn’t longing for him when he wasn’t here.

He walked into the kitchen when I was making us breakfast, he had put on a jeans and t-shirt and his curly hair was still wet. I could see he was looking me up and down, I was wearing my black tight jeans and leather boots with a black top.

‘What?’ I asked with a smile.

‘I’ll never get used to how bad ass you look in that outfit,’ he smiled as he moved closer and let his hand run along the small of my back.

‘I have to look bad ass if I’m even going to have a chance at scaring off any bad guys, you know, being little and a girl usually doesn’t put the fear in them,’ I grinned and put my arms around his neck,’ when do you leave for New York?’

‘Tonight,’ he sighed,’ it’s going to be 8 months, but it’s this amazing production, and the director is someone I’ve always wanted to work with, it’s a dream, Emma…’

He kept talking about all the details while I put our eggs on toast and poured us some coffee. It was nice to see him this passionate, it always brought a smile to my face. 

He lived for his work and it made him so happy, more than I ever could.

We ate breakfast together, both talking about what the coming months would bring, knowing we wouldn’t see each other again soon.

‘Okay, I really have to go now,’ I spoke after a while,’ I’m late and Marcus is still a little pissed at me for kicking that guard in the face last week.’

He shook his head and laughed but took my hand as I got up and looked at me with a more serious look on his face.

‘You are being careful, right?’ he asked softly,’ I know you love the job and all, and I know you’re great at it but sometimes it worries me.’

‘I’m always careful,’ I gave him a comforting smile,’ don’t worry about me.’

‘I will always worry a little about you, you know that,’ he whispered as he pulled me into a hug.

I buried my head against his chest while holding him close. 

I knew what he meant, he didn’t need to say it, I loved him too but it was a different kind of love now.

We looked at each other and he kissed me one last time, softly and tenderly.

‘You be careful too, okay,’ I said as I let him go and put on my jacket, taking one last look at him.

‘So…I’ll see you in 8 months?’ he teased.

‘You’ll see me, but not like this,’ I said,’ I mean it, Tom, this was the last time.’

He nodded but I could see by his little smile that he didn’t believe me.

‘Okay,’ he said.

‘I’m being serious,’ I insisted.

‘Okay,’ he repeated.

I left my apartment fully believing that I would cave again in 8 months but this time I was wrong. This would have been the last time we shared a bed.


	2. Chapter 2

I walked across the halls of SHIELD that morning, it felt very different than it did a few years ago, people actually knew me now, said good morning to me and some of them even feared me a little bit.

That was due to some of the stories making their way through the department.

Marcus said I had ‘issues’ with authority and anger. Truth is I’ve always had those but since my physical training I had find a way to let them out, sometimes too much, or at the wrong time, or against the wrong person. 

I entered one of the cells and closed the door behind me with my security card.  
Inside the cell was a big muscular guy in a scruffy brown suit, his grey hair looked messy around his long pale face and he backed away as soon as he saw me. 

‘No…no no no I told the other agent I didn’t know anything!’ he pleaded while raising his hand at me.

I smiled, happy to see my reputation had also made its way into the cells. That and he was nothing but a petty criminal, it didn’t take much to scare him.

‘Leo,’ I sighed as I shook my head and walked closer to him,’ we both know that’s not true.’

I could see the fear in his eyes, if I was lucky I wouldn’t even have to touch him to get what I wanted.

‘Our informant told us you were part of the group for the past 2 months,’ I continued,‘ if that’s true then how could you not know where they are located?’

I stared into his eyes but he stayed quiet, I was standing right in front of him now and I hit the wall next to his head with my hand and watched him jump back, which caused me to smile again. 

I loved seeing the effect of my power. I’ve never had any real physical strength, people had never feared me before. I had to admit it had gone to my head a little bit.

‘Tell me,’ I asked again and when he didn’t answer immediately I raised my voice,’ Tell me!’

He was panicking now but he was still not giving me any answers so I pulled his arm and pushed him into the wall with his face, keeping his arm on his back and pulling his fingers closer to me. 

He screamed in pain.

‘Last chance, Leo,’ I insisted.

‘Alright, alright!’ he said, gasping for air.

‘Going once…,’ I threatened and pulled his hand up even higher, this guy was getting on my last nerve,’ going twice…’

He was about to give me an answer when I pulled his middle finger and heard a crack, making Leo whimper in pain.

‘You little bitch!’ he yelled,’ I’m not telling you anything now!’

‘I can easily do this 9 more times and then I’ll look for something bigger to break,’ I pushed him against the wall harder,’ where are they?’

He let out a deep sigh and continued to moan in pain.

‘The empty car warehouse near the railway station, next to the old mine,’ he said softly.

I pushed him against the wall one more time and then let go, he let himself drop down to the floor.

‘That wasn’t so hard was it?’ I smiled at him,’ if you’d have said that right away you could have saved yourself the trouble, and the finger.’

He stared at me in anger but didn’t move from his spot on the floor as I left his cell.

***

I walked into Marcus his office that afternoon.

‘Ah Emma, come in, take a seat.’

I sat down in the chair right in front of him and tried to read his face, which told me I was in trouble, again.

‘What did I do now?’ I sighed.

He looked at me and I swear I could see a little smile trying to hide on his face.

‘Good work on getting Leo to talk,’ he said,’ they were exactly where he said they’d be.’  
‘That’s good right?’

‘Yes,’ he continued,’ but why is his finger broken? I though he came forward with the information?’

‘After I broke his finger!’ I tried to defend myself.

‘He wasn’t a threat, Emma,’ Marcus sighed.

‘He was a threat to my patience,’ I leaned back in the chair and watched Marcus shake his head.

‘I’m sorry,’ I admitted,’ I acted too quickly, it won’t happen again.’

‘That’s what you said last week, look Emma, you’re great at this, better than I ever expected. You’re so strong and you’re already ahead of a lot of the older recruits who have been in training for much longer but…you have to control your anger.’

I nodded my head, I knew he was right but I couldn’t help it. I had never felt strong in my entire life and now that I did, I didn’t have any boundaries left. There was no off switch, my fear had left me but my anger was with me all the time now.

‘I’m going to put you in the gym every day for an extra hour,’ he said,’ maybe you can kick the punching bag around a bit more and lay off people for a while.’

‘Okay fine,’ I admitted,’ whatever you think is best.’

He gave me a suspicious look.

‘What?’ I asked.

‘You’re agreeing with me very fast, that’s never good.’

I smiled,‘ You’re right, Marcus, I need to tone it down, and I don’t want to keep putting you in trouble. I’m very thankful for this job, and I know you’re the one that got me in.’

He returned my smile.

‘Can I go now?’ I asked. 

He nodded his head and I walked to the door.

‘Emma?’ he said,’ I haven’t regretted it for a second you know.’

I smiled as I walked out of his office.

***

I could feel the adrenaline rushing through my body, sweat was dripping from my face and I was breathing heavily but controlled while The Prodigy’s Breathe was playing through the speakers in the workout room.

Every punch was a little bit more aggressive and filled with a little bit more rage than the previous one. My eyes were solely focussed on the punching bag, no matter what I threw at him he could take it and I didn’t need to hold anything back. 

Maybe Marcus was right, maybe spending some more time in here would help me calm down when dealing with actual criminals.

After another 15 minutes I stopped hitting and put my arms around the bag while I tried to catch my breath. I loosened my gloves with my teeth and pulled them off, threw them on the floor and turned off the music.

I took off my clothes and let the warm water run in the shower, washing away the last bit of adrenaline that was left in me. I closed my eyes and let the warmth of the water calm me down, making me long for my soft warm bed and the silence of my apartment.

I was pulled out of my bubble when the alarm went off. 

Fuck, this was a code red, high alert.

I jumped out of the shower and into my clothes, taking my security pass and quickly making my way downstairs. 

It wasn’t hard to see where the trouble was situated, I just followed the dozens of security guards running in front of me. I could see they were transporting someone on a hospital bed, it looked like a man but all I could see was his legs and a lot of blood, they were bringing him to the hospital in the lower levels.

Why all this security? He was either someone who needed protection or we were the ones who needed to be protected from him.

I finally made my way to the door and showed my security pass to the guards who stepped aside to let me into the room.

The last thing I heard was Marcus behind me yelling ‘Do not let her in there!’

But it was already too late, I had stepped into the room and I could see him lying on the bed. His clothes dirty and ripped to shreds, blood and cuts all over his body and his pale face even paler than I remembered.  
His dark hair looked more red from the blood than black and his eyes were closed, he looked…dead.

My voice was stuck in my throat,‘ Loki…’


	3. Chapter 3

I had to catch my breath. It had been so long since I even spoke his name, it seemed like another life but at the same time, seeing him lying there, it felt like yesterday. 

My heart sank into my chest.

I was pushed back out of the room by the nurses.

‘No, let me in, I need to see him!’ I tried to break free from their arms but they managed to hold me back and then someone behind me pulled me away.

‘Emma,’ Marcus put his hands on my shoulders and spoke softly,’ calm down.’

I tried to control my breathing but it was useless, this was all too much to deal with right now and I couldn’t stop my heart from racing.

‘How did he get here?’ I finally managed to ask.

‘We’re still gathering all the information,’ Marcus sighed and he pulled a lock of wet hair out of my face,’ listen, there’s nothing you can do here, why don’t you clean up and meet me in my office in 15 minutes, I might know a bit more by then.’

I nodded my head,’ Is he…?’

‘He’s not responding, but we have the best team in the city and you know how strong he is, Emma, I’m sure he’ll…’

Marcus didn’t finish his sentence and I was fighting tears, he could tell I was on the verge of breaking down.

‘I need you to be strong too now, okay? The Emma I saw in my office earlier?’ he looked into my eyes and nodded his head,’ bring her back, don’t give into this sadness, okay, not yet.’ 

I could see the sympathy in his eyes, he might not feel for Loki but I could tell he felt for me. 

‘Okay,’ I said,’ okay, I’ll see you in your office in a little while?’

He nodded his head and I headed back upstairs.

I felt like this wasn’t really happening, like I had just gone home after my shower and I was now in my warm bed just having some weird nightmare.

But it felt painfully real.

I went back to the dressing room and dried my hair. When I looked into the mirror I saw her again, for the first time in the past 3 years, the old Emma.  
The one who met Loki for the first time. She was still in there. 

Even though my hair was now longer and a lot darker, and there was more muscle on my body, and my eyes were filled with a determination that had never been there before.   
Tonight I could see the fragile girl that used to be, the one I had lost, and it was as if these past years hadn’t happened.

Loki still had a hold on my heart that was stronger than anything else in this entire world. Maybe that would never change no matter how much time had passed.

I finished drying my hair and splashed some water over my face before I went back to Marcus.

He had just finished a phone call when I walked into his office.

‘Any news?’ I asked impatiently.

‘He hasn’t suffered any major internal bleeding, but he’s still not responding,’ he took a few seconds before he finished,’ They had no choice but to put him into a coma, I’m so sorry, Emma.’

I couldn’t form any words so I just nodded my head.

‘They have no idea if or when he could come out of it,’ Marcus continued,’ they’re not even sure of the medicine really work on him since he’s not really…you know, human.’

I nodded my head again.

‘All we can do is wait,’ he said,’ I wish I had better news for you, I’m sorry.’

‘How did he get here, Marcus?’ I asked.

‘That’s what really worries me,’ he sighed,’ some old lady found him in the park, according to her statement he came falling from the sky like Superman, her words.’

‘Superman doesn’t fall, he flies.’

Marcus shook his head in a little smile that disappeared as quickly as it appeared,’ Loki’s no superman.’

‘So what? He just fell from Asgard?!’ I asked, not sure whether to find the statement ridiculous or terrifying.

‘We have no idea what happened but we can’t get in touch with Thor, or with Asgard for that matter,’ he explained.

I could see the genuine worry on his face, this was not just about Loki.

‘Tell me everything, Marcus,’ I pleaded.

‘Our computers aren’t getting any sign through to Asgard, it’s like… there’s nothing there on the other side, like it’s all dead. Maybe it’s just a glitch in our system but…I fear there’s a possibility that Asgard may be gone, Emma, and the only person who can tell us what happened is Loki.’

I sank down on the chair opposite his desk.

‘I would tell you to go home now and get some rest,’ he said,’ but I know that’s not going to happen, so I gave you clearance to go see him whenever you want, okay?’

‘Thank you, Marcus,’ I said softly.

***

I walked into Loki’s room a few minutes later. There were two guards standing outside, the only noise inside of the room were the beeps from all the machines, they sounded too loud in my head and made my ears pound.

Loki was lying in the bed, a white sheet covering his body up to his shoulders. His arms and face were covered in wounds and bruises, his skin was almost whiter than the sheet, a big contrast with his raven black hair. 

My heart sank into my chest again at the sight of him here, so close to me, and hurt, broken. He had always been broken but never quite this literally. 

I stepped closer and took a seat next to his bed, I carefully took his hand in mine and brought it to my face, breathing my warmth onto him. I kissed his fingers and held his palm against my cheek. 

I never realized just how much I had missed his cold touch. But his hand laid dead in mine, there was no response at all. 

What did I expect? That one touch from me would magically bring him back? This wasn’t a Hallmark movie.

I pushed my chair closer to his bed and watched his face. He looked weak but his strong features were all still there, he was still beautiful. I gently brushed my hand over his sharp cheekbones and sighed deeply.

‘What happened to you?’ I whispered.


	4. Chapter 4

I stayed by Loki’s bedside during the following days. There was no change in his condition, he wasn’t getting any worse but he also wasn’t getting any better. I knew there was nothing I could do for him but I couldn’t bring myself to leave his side. 

Marcus paid me a visit every day, keeping me posted on the whole situation, they still hadn’t managed to make contact with Asgard. 

I stepped into Loki’s room that morning when my heart nearly stopped. Two nurses and a doctor stood hovering around his bed, the nurses were holding him down while the doctor tried to restart his heart by using the peddles on him. Loki’s face was almost as white as the sheets he was lying in. 

‘What are you doing?’ I was in panic,’ what happened?!’

One of the nurses came to me and held me back.

‘We don’t know,’ she spoke calmly,’ his heart just stopped, we’re trying to bring him back.’

I could hear one of the other nurses screaming,’ He’s not responding!’

‘Keep going!’ the doctor insisted.

‘It’s been almost 4 minutes, sir.’

‘I’m not letting him go, keep going!’

Loki’s body looked deprived of life as the peddles shook him off the bed time after time.

I turned my eyes away and tried to fight the tears. This was not the way it was supposed to happen. Dying in a stupid hospital bed? It couldn’t end like this, this was all so pointless and so…human. It was beneath him.

They brought him back to me just to take him away again? For me to watch him die right in front of me?  
I knew the universe was cruel but this was beyond cruel.

I had started crying when all of a sudden I could hear a heartbeat, it was weak but it was there.

‘We’ve got him!’ the doctor sighed relieved and surprised,’ he’s back, we got him.’

A deep sigh of relief escaped my lips and I watched the nurses leave the room.

The doctor turned to me before he left,‘ I’m sorry you had to see that, he’s stable again now but…’

I nodded my head. He didn’t need to say it, I knew how bad things were.

‘It’s a matter of days before this happens again and I’m not sure how much more he can take’ he explained.

‘What can I do? I asked.

‘In theory nothing,’ he said,’ but some people believe it helps if you talk to him, make him feel you’re here.’

‘Are you one of those people?’ I asked.

He gave me a little smile and shook his head,’ No, going by what I know he should be dead already. But then again, what do I really know about frost giants anyway?’

He put his hand on my arm and gave me a little nod, a little glimpse of hope, before he left the room, leaving me alone with Loki.

My heart broke again when I saw him lying there, so helpless and devoid of any power.

I sat down on the side of his bed, taking his hand into mine. I let my fingers run gently through his hair, it was longer than I remembered.  
I caressed his forehead and his eyebrows, what I wouldn’t give for those green eyes to open up and stare into mine right now.

The intensity of my feelings for him shocked me. He was in a coma, completely out of it, there was no way he was playing any tricks on me right now but that didn’t matter, he still had so much power over me. Even after all that time I would have done anything for him.

‘Loki,’ I whispered, my voice drenched in sadness,’ it’s me, it’s Emma…I don’t know what happened to you, but you’re on earth, Midgard. We found you. But we can’t bring you back…’

I sighed and bit back my tears. 

‘You’ll have to do it,’ I continued,’ you have to come back to me, I refuse to believe you came here just to die.’

I placed a kiss on his forehead and let my tears fall down.

‘Please come back to me,’ I whispered.

As I sat there next to him I could feel my eyes getting heavy. The sleepless nights were starting to take their toll and I put my head on his shoulder, just to rest for a little while. After a few minutes I started to doze off.

‘Emma…’

My eyes opened and it took me a few seconds to realize where I was, I could have sworn I heard someone say my name but there was no one in the room except for me and Loki and he couldn’t have…

I sat up and looked down on him. He wasn’t moving at all, whatever I thought I heard it must have been in my dream. I got up from the bed when I saw Marcus come in.

‘Ah good, you’re awake,’ he said,’ I didn’t want to wake you earlier.’

‘How long was I asleep?’ I asked.

‘Just a little while,’ he said,’ you should go home and get some real sleep Emma, there’s nothing you can do here.’

I nodded my head, still feeling a bit dizzy from the nap.

‘Marcus,’ I said softly,’ just before I woke up… I could have sworn I heard someone say my name, has anyone else been in this room?’

‘No,’ he said,’ no one’s been in here for over an hour now.’

He came closer and looked at me.  
‘Are you sure?’ he asked.

‘No, no I’m not,’ I admitted,’ forget it, I was probably just dreaming, I think… I do need to get some real sleep.’

I took one last look at Loki and planted a kiss on his forehead.

‘I’ll come back for you,’ I whispered into his ear.

‘I’ll call you if there’s any change,’ Marcus said before I left the room.

***

Marcus walked up to Loki and stared down at him on the bed. It was hard to believe this wounded and weak body was the same man he knew 3 years ago, there was not a hint of a threat left in him. 

Marcus didn’t know what he wanted more, that Loki would wake up and help them with whatever happened on Asgard or that he would just die right here and now. Maybe that would be easier for everyone involved, especially for her.

As he stared at Loki’s face he could see Loki’s eyes twitching and his face moving slightly while his lips opened up and he whispered in a weak voice: ‘Emma…’

‘Fuck,’ Marcus rolled his eyes and ran to the hallway, screaming at the top of his lungs,’ Emma, come back!’


	5. Chapter 5

It took every last bit of patience to stay on my chair, Marcus was standing next to me while the nurse was checking Loki’s vitals.

‘I’m sorry,’ she shook her head,’ there’s no change at all here, are you sure of what you saw? Sometimes the body can make certain movements, it doesn’t mean…’

‘He spoke,’ Marcus insisted,’ I’m sure of what I heard.’ 

There wasn’t any emotion in his voice, unlike me he wasn’t blinded by what he wished would happen. Marcus was completely unbiased and because of that I was now certain that Loki had been the one whispering my name.

I let out a deep sigh of frustration.

‘I’m sorry, Emma,’ Marcus said,’ I should have let you go home until I knew more, until I was sure that…’

‘No, you are sure, and you did exactly what you had to. There’s no way I’m going home now.’

‘I figured as much,’ he nodded his head,’ I’ve had the nurse make up a bed for you in a room across the hall, you do need to get some sleep.’

I couldn’t disagree with that. I felt like I hadn’t slept in a week which wasn’t that far from the truth, I turned to the nurse before I left the room.

‘You wake me up the minute there’s any change, okay, I asked,’ if he moves, if he even breaths funny you come get me.’ 

She nodded her head.

***

It was quiet in the halls of the SHIELD hospital that night, nurse Jenny was making her way through the hall, checking all the rooms and patients.   
She noticed that Emma was finally asleep and closed the door to her room quietly, walking the rest of the hallway that lead to the last room she had to check, Loki’s room.

She walked up to his bedside and checked all the machines, reached over him to check the machine on the other side when she felt a shiver run up her arms. 

Her eyes shot down at him instantly, she could have sworn she felt him move but he was still lying in the bed exactly the way she found him.  
It must have been a flicker of light or a shadow that was playing tricks on her. She ignored it and reached for the machine at the other side of the bed again when Loki’s hand shot up and grabbed her by the wrist. 

Before she could react he was out of the bed and had his other hand on her throat, pushing her up against the wall next to the bed. She tried to scream but the sound was stuck in her throat and she stared right into Loki’s angry green eyes.

He pushed her down to the floor roughly and then pulled all the wires from his body and threw them on the ground next to her.   
Two security guards who were standing by the door came bursting into the room, urging him to calm down.

‘Where am I?’ Loki screamed. 

He sounded angry but also confused, the guards knew not to come too close to him. Nobody knew what the coma had done to Loki and how he would wake up.   
Was his memory intact and more importantly what was left of his powers?

‘Tell me!’ Loki screamed again. He sounded desperate this time and he grabbed one of the machines and threw it into the guards, making them fall on the ground next to nurse Jenny, who was trying to crawl away from Loki and towards the door.

‘Where am I?!’ Loki yelled again.

***

I woke up from the alarm and noise in the hallway. I had no idea how long I had been asleep but it felt like a long time and it took me a while to wake up and realize something was going on outside.

The guards were all running towards the end of the hall, towards Loki’s room.   
I was suddenly wide awake.

I ran to the door and pushed the guards aside.

‘You should stay here, agent,’ one of the guards raised his hands at me to make me stop,’ he’s very aggressive and won’t let anyone near him.’

I could see a few guards coming outside with blood on their faces and I saw the nurse sitting on a chair in the hallway with shaking hands and tears on her face.

‘He will let me near him,’ I pushed the guard aside and stepped through the door. 

At least I hope he will…

Loki was standing in the middle of the room, his long black hair covering his face and wearing nothing but his hospital gown, his pale face was twisted into an angry smirk and he was throwing anything he could grab at the guards. 

I noticed immediately that while he was fighting them off he wasn’t using any of his powers. Did he not have them anymore or did he not remember how to use them? 

Or did he not even remember he had them?

He let out an angry scream that turned silent the instant his eyes met mine, he dropped everything and just stood still. 

I encouraged the guards to step back while I moved closer to him.

‘Loki?’ I asked carefully. 

I was afraid to look at him, afraid to see a void in those eyes, the absence of any recognition. What would I do if he didn’t remember me? If he didn’t remember…us?

I looked up into his eyes and I could have sworn I saw the anger leave his face, the only thing left now was a weak helpless man confused by whatever had happened to him.  
He looked scared even, and I could tell he was tired, worn out. 

Without any more words we both took another step to each other and I watched as he fell down on his knees right before me. 

I hesitated, afraid to make a move but then all of a sudden his hands were on my waist and he gently rested his head against my stomach. 

His entire body was shaking and all I could do was wrap my arms around his shoulders and hold him close. Relief washed over me, relief that he was calm now, relief that he was alive. And even more relief that he seemed to know who I was or at least felt a connection between us. 

But I still wasn’t sure if this was really the Loki as I remembered him, he seemed very confused.

As I held onto him I turned my head to one of the guards.

‘Get Marcus, now,’ I said quietly.


	6. Chapter 6

Loki opened his eyes and realised he was in the same room he had been for days now, or was it weeks already? 

Time had lost all meaning to him, he had been in and out of consciousness for some time now. The last thing he remembered was falling, and fire, there was fire everywhere but he didn’t remember what caused it, or how he managed to get away. 

He remembered running, searching for his family, his mother, brother, anyone…but the palace had been completely empty. 

Were they dead or hurt or had they just left him alone and took off to a safer haven without him?

His mind had always been his strongest suit and it drove him crazy that it was abandoning him now that he needed it more than ever. There was so much he couldn’t remember.

This place felt familiar to him, some of the faces, and the girl. He couldn’t stop thinking about the girl with the long dark hair and the big eyes. He knew her name was Emma, the name had been haunting him for a while in his dreams now but he couldn’t explain why.   
He felt a connection with her, like he knew her somehow, like she belonged with him yet he had no idea who she was.

‘Loki?’

It was the man again, he also looked vaguely familiar to Loki.

‘Do you know who I am?’ the man asked.

‘No’ Loki said quietly.

‘My name is Marcus, does that ring a bell?’

Loki shook his head.

‘I want to see her’ Loki then said, causing surprise on the man’s face.

‘Her?’ Marcus asked.

‘The girl that was with me before.’

‘Do you know her name?’ he asked.

‘Emma,’ Loki sighed,’ I know her name is Emma, but I don’t know how I know that, I don’t know her…’

He sighed in frustration,’ Can I please see her?’

Marcus nodded his head as he studied Loki’s face,‘ I’ll go get her.’

***

I was pacing the hallway when I noticed Marcus rushing towards me.

‘How is he?’ I begged him.

‘Physically he seems to be fine, and he seems alert, his reactions and speech are good, but…’

I hated the way his expression changed, making me fear the worst.

‘His memory is…damaged,’ Marcus said,’ he seems to remember some things but it’s not a lot at all.’

‘Does he remember me?’ I asked hesitantly, afraid to hear the answer to my question.

Marcus shook his head,’ I’m sorry, Emma.’

I nodded my head and tried to keep my disappointment hidden.  
I was biting my lip to stop the tears but Marcus noticed, putting his hand on my arm.

‘But he held me,’ I said softly as I looked into his eyes,’ he held me like he knew…’

‘I believe deep down he does know,’ Marcus continued,’ he asked to see you.’

My eyes lit up. If there was nothing left of Loki’s memory of me then why would he ask for me?

‘Please don’t get your hopes up,’ Marcus warned me,’ his memory might return but we don’t know when or if that will even happen.’

I nodded my head but it was already too late, I was already holding on to this last string of hope. It would all come back to him, it just had to.

***

Loki sat up straight in his hospital bed, the sheets covering his long legs, he had taken off the hospital gown and his chest was bare, showing his bruises and cuts that were finally starting to heal. 

His eyes found mine as soon as I entered the room. Knowing he didn’t remember me had made me even more nervous to be alone with him.

‘I hear you asked for me,’ I spoke quietly, surprised by the nerves in my own voice.

‘Yes,’ he said, sending shivers down my spine with just one word. Oh how I had missed his raspy deep voice.

I walked closer to his bed, trying to ignore that his eyes followed me with every move I made.

‘Do you know who I am?’ I asked.

‘No,’ he looked away for the first time, his face troubled.

‘Do you know who you are?’ I asked.

He nodded his head.

‘I am Loki,’ he said,’ from Asgard, and I know this must be Midgard, or earth as you call it, it feels familiar but…I don’t remember having been here before.’

‘You have,’ I told him.

‘I have met you before,’ he stated, this wasn’t a question, he already knew it to be true.

‘Yes,’ I said and I could feel his eyes on me again. I looked up and stared into the deep green, feeling my heart skip a beat.

‘You know me, better than the others do.’

‘You could say that,’ I nodded my head as I stepped closer to him, trying to keep my calm while I allowed myself to stare into his eyes again,’ I’m Emma, you…you used to know my name.’

‘I still do,’ he said softly,’ but…that is all I remember.’

I felt the tears in the back of my eyes and tried to stop them but failed. I could see the shock on his face when I started to cry.  
Not wanting him to see my tears I turned my back to him and walked to the window.

‘Your tears,’ he said, confusion in his tone,’ you cared for me?’

This time it was a question, he seemed to find it very difficult to comprehend a human could care for him, let alone shed a tear for him.

‘I…it doesn’t matter now,’ I wiped away the tears and forced myself to stop acting like a lovesick little girl, I took a deep breath and looked at him again,’ Do you remember anything about what happened to you?’ 

I tried to hide the old Emma and treat this like I would any other case because that’s what it was now, and he was the biggest case I’ve had so far.

‘I remember falling into darkness,’ he said,’ I remember fire, on Asgard, there was fire everywhere.’

I could see him trying to recall the images in his mind and I could see it was hurting him.

‘Something attacked us,’ he continued, he actually sounded scared,’ it was everywhere, I couldn’t…couldn’t stop it, I couldn’t find anyone, my mother…they were all gone…’

I walked up to the bed and without giving it any more thought I took his hand in mine. He woke from his thoughts and stared into my eyes while he squeezed my hand.

‘It’s okay,’ I reassured him,’ you’re safe here.’

He shook his head and tried to get up from the bed but I pushed him back down. He took both my hands and pulled them towards his chest.

His eyes had changed, the confusion was gone but there was something worse now, something I hadn’t seen on him before. It was panic.

‘It’s not safe,’ he insisted,’ not safe!’

‘Loki, it’s fine, you’re not on Asgard anymore, this is earth, everything is safe here.’

‘No it’s not!’ he was yelling now,’ it’s not safe anywhere!’

‘Loki, what do you mean?’

His entire body was shaking and seeing him like this was starting to freak me out. I had never seen Loki this scared before and I didn’t know how to calm him down. So I did the only thing I could do. I wrapped my arms around his shoulders and held him close to me.

He didn’t move at first but after a little while I could feel him relax against me and the shaking stopped.  
I was about to let him go when all of a sudden I felt his strong arms around me, holding me close to him. 

He held onto me for a few minutes until I broke the hug and stepped back, he kept his hands on my waist while his eyes stared into mine.

‘I don’t remember you,’ he whispered,’ but you’re mine, right?’

His whisper sent more shivers through my entire body as I nodded my head,’ Yes, I am.’

It hadn’t even occurred to me to use the past tense because that would have been a lie.

We both jumped when the door shot open and one of the guards came bursting in.

‘Emma, Marcus wants you both in the control room right away,’ he said,’ we have a situation.’


	7. Chapter 7

As I opened the door to the control room I immediately knew how serious this was. Marcus was surrounded by a group of SHIELD agents and all of them were staring at one of the screens. There was fear and sheer horror on the faces in the room.

Only one of them looked unaffected by whatever had appeared on the screen. I had seen him around the halls of SHIELD before. He usually worked the bigger more important cases. The guy was tall and his short black hair was always perfectly in place, his eyes had a certain authority to them and his lips were twisted in a smug little smile. This was someone who was used to people following his orders blindly without question.

This could become a problem.

He walked up to me and nodded, no emotion on his face,’ Where’s Loki?’

‘The nurse is getting him ready,’ I spoke flatly, determined to not be intimidated by this guy.

‘This is Ryan,’ Marcus introduced me,’ Ryan, this is Emma.’

‘I’ve heard of you,’ he shook my hand but didn’t look me in the eyes.

‘What happened?’ I asked and I turned to look at Marcus, hoping to hear it from him.

‘Let’s wait until Loki is here, he needs to see this too,’ Marcus said.

I sat down on one of the desks while Marcus walked back to the screen, I raised my shoulders at him but he just shook his head and looked away from me, his face full of worry.

A few minutes later the door opened and Loki walked in. Looking at him took my breath away, again.

He was wearing a black jeans and black t-shirt and his long hair reached far beneath his shoulders. His arms and face looked so pale, he could have been the lead in a vampire movie.

All eyes in the room went to him, even Ryan seemed puzzled for a few seconds.

‘Why am I here?’ Loki asked, unaffected by all the stares.

Marcus sat down on the computer while everyone else gathered around him, including me and Loki. He gazed into my eyes for a few seconds before we both looked back to the screen.

‘We put cameras in the park where Loki fell down,’ Marcus explained,’ nothing has happened for days now but these images came in this morning. We’ve watched them several times now but…I’m still not entirely sure what we’re looking at.’

It was an unclear view of the park, which looked grey and a little misty, there were people walking around or jogging, a few older people sitting on benches and a few kids on the playground. It looked like a normal morning in a London park, until one of the clouds seemed to open up. The image wasn’t clear but it was more than obvious that this was not a natural event.

‘What the hell is that?’ one of the agents asked.

‘It’s a portal,’ Ryan answered and he turned to Loki,’ we believe that is how you came through.’

‘I don’t remember,’ Loki said softly.

‘A portal from Asgard to Earth?’ I asked Marcus.

‘It’s happened before,’ he said,’ but that’s not why we’re watching this, keep looking.’

‘Oh my god!’ I heard one of the agents gasp.

The cloud had dropped something, it looked like a huge ball of fire that landed on the grass in the middle of the park. People were quickly starting to run away in panic.

‘Is that fire?’ another agent asked.

‘It’s not burning,’ I noticed, the ball was on the grass but the spot it rested on seemed unharmed.

All of a sudden the ball seemed to burst into a blinding flash of light, covering the entire screen.

It wasn’t until the light disappeared that the true horror of these images was shown. 

The people who were trying to get away from it just a minute ago were now running towards it. Well not exactly towards it.   
They were running towards each other like two battalions on the battlefield.

You could have heard a feather drop in the control room. I had seen a lot of horrors since I worked for SHIELD but this made every hair on my arms stand up.

Every single person in that park was now attacking someone else, they just ran into each other like wild animals. There was grabbing and pulling and hitting and biting. It was as if they had turned into raging killers within seconds. 

The green grass in the park was starting to show several red spots and there were more and more bodies just lying on the ground, limbs in impossible positions or worse, separated from the bodies. It looked like a scene from The walking dead but instead of slow zombies they seemed to be moving in fast forward. 

The last image I saw before I had to look away was an elderly lady pulling the arms of a small child in the playground as she threw him to the ground.

Marcus turned the computer off.

‘I think that’s all we need to see,’ he sighed.

I leaned back against the desk and closed my eyes for a few seconds. I was glad I hadn’t eaten anything that morning because I wasn’t sure my stomach could have handled what I just saw.

‘What the fuck was that?’ I asked.

‘I wish I could tell you,’ Marcus said.

‘The park is being quarantined as we speak,’ Ryan took over,’ there are close to 100 casualties. So far whatever it is seems to be contained to the park and the people who were in there at the time of the, for lack of a better word: event.’

‘What was that?’ another agent asked,’ the light, it seemed to make people crazy, violent in an instant. What on earth does that?’

’Nothing on earth,’ I whispered, more to myself than to the room.

‘Is it some chemical or a gas?’ Marcus asked, everyone was just thinking out loud at this point trying to find a possible theory.

I had noticed Loki had been extremely quiet throughout the whole thing. He was leaning against the wall and the expression on his face was scaring me all of a sudden.

‘It’s not a gas, or a chemical,’ he suddenly spoke, making all the heads turn to him,’ it’s a sound.’

The room was quiet.

‘One very specific sound at a very specific frequency,’ Loki continued,’ it pulls a switch in the human brain, turning it violent and primal and hungry for blood.’

Marcus shook his head,’But that’s not…’

‘Humanly possible?’ Loki interrupted him,’ no it’s not, it’s Asgardian.’

‘This is what happened on Asgard too,’ I said and Loki nodded his head.

'That’s the fire I kept seeing in my memory,’ he explained.

‘Okay, that explains one thing,’ Ryan said,’ but how do you know so much about what it is exactly?’

‘Because I helped create it,’ Loki answered.


	8. Chapter 8

Before any of us realised what was happening Ryan had grabbed Loki by his neck and was pushing him up against the wall.

‘I knew we couldn’t trust you!’ he screamed at him in anger.

Loki tried to hold him off without fighting back.

‘Marcus!’ I pleaded.

‘Ryan, please let him talk,’ Marcus insisted.

Ryan stared into Loki’s eyes a while longer before letting him go. He took a few steps back but didn’t leave Loki out of his sight.

Marcus turned to Loki,’ Tell us what you know.’

‘It was years ago,’ Loki started,’ and I mean years ago in Asgard terms, before any of you were even born. I met a man named Ravo’ck, he was an Asgardian scientist with a deadly wish for war. His plan was to go down all the realms one by one and pluck them empty of all life. And he was working on a device that would do all the work for him. All he had to do was leave it somewhere, turn it on and watch how all the natives kill each other, then come in to do the clean up and the world was his. It was so simple.’

‘Why?’ I asked,’ what does he want with all those worlds?’

‘It was a long time ago,’ Loki explained,’ but if he is still the same man his actions have no reason or logic behind them. He’s not looking for revenge, he’s not even really after power, all he wants is to see the universe in chaos and everyone in it to suffer. Destruction is his only goal.’

‘How did you know this man?’ Ryan asked.

‘He worked for my father until his science started to take a dark turn,’ Loki continued,’ a king could have nothing to do with a man like that so he was banished from the castle. But I was no king, and me and him had very similar goals back then, we both wanted others to pay for our suffering, but…’

He stayed quiet for a while.

‘You never went through with it,’ I finished his sentence for him.

He nodded his head and gave me a thankful little smile.

‘No,’ he continued,’ it’s been so long ago I had completely forgotten about him until I saw that device, that is his, there is no question about that.’

The room was quiet, Loki had given us answers but I think I could speak for all of us when I say we would have preferred to stay clueless.

The rest of the afternoon was spent rewatching and analyzing the images. There hadn’t been any more incidents and the portal appeared to be closed for now but the whole thing had sent a wave of panic through the SHIELD building. 

Authorities had done everything they could to keep the incident out of the media but it hadn’t entirely worked. The internet was full of possible theories and it was clear that people were talking about this. They were scared, and that’s the last thing you wanted in a situation like this. It could escalate, quickly.

I hoped with all my heart that this incident would be a single event, but deep down I already knew that wouldn’t be the case.

***

I was alone with Marcus in his office that night, for the time being there was nothing more we could do but every SHIELD agent was on high alert. 

I knew my first concern should be this event and all the lives lost but there was something else I couldn’t stop thinking about, someone else.

‘So how is he now?’ I asked.

‘He’s perfectly fine, physically,’ Marcus assured me,’ he seems to be healed quite well and he got his strength back. I’m not talking about his powers, we don’t know anything about that yet.’

‘Then there’s no reason he has to stay in the hospital?’ I asked.

‘In theory, no.’

‘So can I…?’

‘Absolutely not,’ he interrupted me.

‘You don’t even know what I was going to say!’ I objected.

‘I know very well what you were going to say,’ he said with a little smile on his face,’ and there is no way in hell he is leaving the SHIELD facilities.’

‘Fine,’ I sighed.

‘You’re welcome to stay here with him,’ Marcus suggested.

‘Yeah, I don’t know if that’s a good idea yet,’ I put on my jacket,’ I think I’ll just go home.’

Marcus nodded his head.

Before I walked through the door I looked at him again.

‘Do you think we should be scared Marcus?’ I asked,’ is this just another incident or is this the start of something?’

He took a deep sigh.

‘I honestly have no idea, but I think it doesn’t hurt to be prepared. Try and get some sleep tonight.’

I had every intention of doing just that and going straight home, but then I walked past Loki’s room.

‘So you’re just leaving me here then?’

His voice made me stop in my tracks and I turned around to see him leaning against the doorway, a little smirk forming on his lips. 

He looked way too good in the jeans and tight t-shirt.

This was just great, aliens may be attacking earth and all I could think about was his abs.

‘You’re not allowed to leave SHIELD,’ I stated as I walked up to him.

‘Because they don’t trust me.’

‘What did you expect?’

‘But you do,’ he said. Once again it wasn’t a question and he was staring into my eyes while he said it.

‘I trust you, Loki,’ I moved closer to him, our faces were only a few inches away from each other now,’ I’m not sure why but I do.’

‘Then stay here with me,’ he whispered. 

I was unable to break eye contact. He knew I would do anything he asked me to. It took all my strength to step back from him.

‘Please don’t use me or my feelings for you,’ I said softly,’ If you remembered me at all you wouldn’t do that to me.’

He looked away from me.

‘I want to remember, Emma,’ he then said, more serious,’ I want to remember everything and you’re my best chance at doing that. And this thing, whatever it is, it hasn’t even started yet and I want you with me when it does.’

I swallowed hard under his intense stare.

‘I want to keep you safe,’ he added.

‘Thank you but I’m very capable of keeping myself safe,’ I stepped back from him. I needed to create space between us, I wasn’t ready to be drawn into his web again, not yet.

‘I’m going home now and I’ll come see you in the morning, okay?’ I said.

He nodded his head and went back into his room,’ I’ll be here.’

The guards closed the door behind him and stayed by the door.

Every part of me wanted to go in there with him and spend the night in his arms but I couldn’t. Not like this, not when he didn’t even remember.

Instead I went home to my own bed and spent the night alone, tossing and turning in my bed that felt way too big for just me in it. 

It wasn’t just Loki that kept me awake that night but also the gruesome images from the park. I had a bad feeling before but after hearing Loki say it I was sure of it.

It wasn’t just an incident, this was the start of something, something a lot bigger and it scared the shit out of me.  
I wouldn’t manage to sleep at all that night.


	9. Chapter 9

When I walked through the door into SHIELD the next morning it felt like a deja-vu. Like I had stepped back in time a few years ago, when all I did was lie awake at night and then when I woke up the only thing I wanted, the only thing keeping me alive, was the thought of getting to see Loki. 

It felt exactly the same today though circumstances could not have been more different.

It was busy and crowded in the offices, everyone was on high alert and every agent had been asked to come in today.

‘Good morning, Marcus,’ I found him in the control room looking over some files,’ anything new this morning?’

‘There have been a few…anomalies,’ he answered me in a sigh.  
I noticed he was wearing the same suit as the day before and his eyes looked tired and a little bloodshot.

‘Have you been here all night?’

‘It started a little after midnight,’ he explained,’ Emma…’  
He turned to face me and the distorted look on his face made the hairs on my arm stand up.

‘We are counting twenty four portals at the moment,’ he then said.

‘What?!’

‘That is just in London,’ he added, shocking me even more.

‘Nothing has happened yet,’ he said,’ but they all seem to be open. We’ve managed to pretty much keep it out of the media but it’s daylight now, people are going to notice and this combined with the attack in the park…people aren’t stupid, they will connect the dots.’

All I could do was nod my head, the situation felt too unreal for me to even process let alone respond.

’It won’t be long before panic and chaos will set in,’ Marcus sounded calm, too calm but I knew it was just a front. In his eyes I saw the same fear that was building in mine.

‘What do we do?’ I asked.

‘There’s nothing we can do right now, we’ve managed to evacuate the areas around the portals and put security around it but…’

‘This is bad,’ my voice was barely a whisper.

‘It’s going to be I’m afraid.’

‘So is it just us, just the UK? What about other countries?’

‘So far there have only been reports of London or just outside London, but we are assuming that if there are more countries affected they will try to keep it quiet the same way we are trying to do. So there’s really no way to know.’

I didn’t get a chance to ask more questions because a group of agents came storming in.

‘There’s a situation upstairs!’

‘Oh my god,’ Marcus pointed towards one of screens and suddenly the entire room went quiet.

In the middle of the big entrance hall to SHIELD there was a ball of fire, the same one we saw in the park.

‘How did that get in here?’ Marcus reached for the phone immediately but it was too late. We watched the ball explode in a flash of light and he last thing we saw before the camera got turned off was dozens of people running into each other in a blind rage followed by blood everywhere.

It was the exact same thing that happened in the park. 

‘Shut off the lower levels right now!’ Marcus was shouting into the phone.

I was unable to move, whatever was trying to attack us it was here and if it was inside the building there was no way to stop it. SHIELD would become a battlefield.

Marcus put down the phone and came rushing towards me.

‘Emma? Emma!’ he had to yell my name several times and shake my shoulders to make me look at him.

He pulled something from his pocked and put the small security card into my hand, making sure no one else noticed.

‘Find Loki’ he whispered.

‘What about you?’ 

‘I can’t leave here right now, they need me. Go Emma!’

I looked at him, still unable to move and unwilling to leave his side.

‘Now!’ Marcus shouted,’ Go now!’

I didn’t ask anything more and did as he asked. Without looking back I ran out of the room and into the hallway where panic had broken loose. 

People were running in every direction, trying to find a safe place to hide or just to find out what was going on. I pushed my way through to the hospital and to Loki’s room.

When I entered the hallway of the hospital I could see him stepping out of his room. He was the only person not running and appearing calm in the midst of all the chaos. When he noticed me he also noticed the panic on my face.

Seeing the worried look on his face was enough to wake me up from my state of shock, but it didn’t help much. Tears started streaming down my face when I made my way towards Loki.

He closed the distance between us, pulled me into his arms and held me tight. For a moment the chaos around me disappeared and all I could focus on was the comfort of his strong arms.

‘Don’t be frightened,’ he whispered into my ear,’ it’s going to be alright.’

I allowed myself to lean into his hug as he comforted me.

‘Do you know what’s happening?’ I asked.

He nodded his head. We could see people running all around us, the chaos was growing by the minute.

‘There’s been a breach, they got into the lower levels!’ someone shouted, I turned around to see it was Ryan, running towards the elevator with a couple of stun guns in his hands.

I don’t know if it was Loki’s comfort of just his presence or the fact that I finally fully realized what was happening and how many casualties would be made today if we just stood by and did nothing. But suddenly the fear was subsiding and agent Emma came back to the surface.

‘We need to help them,’ the words came without hesitating and I let go of Loki and followed Ryan into the elevator.

He gave me a quick thankful nod and handed me one of the guns.

 

———–

Loki had no choice but to watch me run, he tried to stop me but I slipped right through his hands and ran after Ryan, right to the center of all the excitement and all the danger, and the last place he wanted me.

‘Damned,’ he hissed and ran after me into the elevator. The doors closed leaving just me, Ryan and Loki alone in there.

We were all quiet, not sure what to expect when these doors would open up again.

‘I need a weapon,’ Loki looked at Ryan, who seemed reluctant to give him anything but quickly realised he had no other choice.   
He knew we would need every strong man we had, even if he didn’t trust him.

‘Stun not kill,’ he handed Loki a gun,’ those are our people out there.’

Loki nodded but didn’t say a word.

————

I held my breath as the lift doors opened to show us the hallway, I could see a few people lying in the floor, most of them weren’t moving. I looked away when I noticed all the blood and pieces of limbs on the floor.

‘Emma?’ Ryan asked.

‘I’m fine’ I quickly said.

Of course I was not fine. I wasn’t a field agent, I was good at interrogating criminals and trying to intimidate them verbally and physically, one on one in a safe confined space.  
This bloody chaos and bullets was a whole new world and I felt completely overwhelmed. 

But I had no intention of backing down, I held my gun ready and nodded at Ryan.

‘You guys go left, I’ll take right’ Ryan said and I watched him disappear from the elevator.

I could hear the gun shots in the distance, Loki looked at me and nodded.  
I stepped out of the elevator first but he quickly grabbed my shoulder to pull me back.

‘Don’t even think about it,’ he said firmly,’ I go first, you stay behind me.’

———

(Loki’s pov)

 

Loki entered the hallway, looking left and right before he made his way further down. Apart from the people lying on the floor there was nobody in sight but he stayed focussed. The gunshots didn’t sound that far away. 

He looked behind him and saw Emma next to him with her gun nervously against her chest, she crossed the hallway and kept moving forward against the other side of the wall.

As they came closer to the offices the shots started to sound louder. Loki checked the rooms they were passing, most of them were empty, some of them had a few people in them hiding behind or under their desks.

It all happened so quickly, while he was checking rooms Emma had kept moving forward through the hall and was now far ahead of him. 

Before Loki realised what was happening it was too late. He could hear the shots really close now, too close and too loud.  
He had to get Emma, they needed to go back, it was too dangerous. But before he could reach her his world stopped…

He could see Emma fall down to the floor, like she was hit by something, bullets were flying around but Loki didn’t care. All he saw was Emma getting hit and falling and it felt like he disappeared on the spot.

This had happened before, but it wasn’t here, it was a tunnel and it was dark, and they had been running, him and Emma, there were bullets and gunshots just like this and she got hit and fell down. 

He could see it like it was yesterday, she looked different there but she was his Emma, and with that image it all came back to him. 

Their time in the cabin away from everything, him and Emma running the streets of London, him holding her on the subway, spending the night in her bed. How she took care of his wounds when he was locked up, how she unlocked his chains and freed him in every way possible. How he held her for the first time inside that cage, how her eyes melt into his, her kiss and the feel of her body against his. 

He could feel his heart breaking all over again and then he was thrown back to the present.

Emma was lying on the ground, she wasn’t moving.


	10. Chapter 10

Fuck! Fuck this shit hurts, bulletproof my ass.

When they tell you these things protect you from the bullets they forget to mention they don’t protect you against the excruciating pain. Fuck me.

I tried to reach for the bullet and pulled it from the bulletproof vest, letting out a cry of pain at the bruise I felt underneath it.

That’s when I heard it, the scream. Loki was screaming my name and the intensity and desperation in his tone cut right through my bones. 

I knew even before I crawled up and saw the horror on his face. He remembered.

I leaned my back against the wall and watched him sink down before me. His hands were everywhere, touching me, gently and carefully, checking for bullet wounds.

‘Are you hurt?’ he asked, his voice was shaking,’ are you hurt?’

‘I’m fine, Loki.’

He cupped my face between his hands and stared into my eyes,’ It’s me, it’s me.’

I hesitated only for a second before wrapping my arms around his neck and pulling him closer.

‘Loki,’ my voice was a weak whisper and I held onto him while he helped me up.

Our moment was cut short when suddenly bullets were flying around us again.

‘We need to go,’ Loki pushed me out in front of him, protecting me from the bullets as we made our way into one of the empty rooms.

We both tried to catch our breath, trying to stay as quiet as possible while the noises faded and the room and hallway turned silent. Loki closed the door.

‘We’ll be safe in here for now,’ he helped me sit down and took a seat on the ground next to me.

‘How much do you remember?’ I asked softly.

‘Everything,’ he looked at me, eyes filled with sadness, guilt and regret,’I…I should have never left you.’

‘That’s in the past, Loki, we don’t need to talk about it, besides we both wanted it that way.’

‘I never wanted it that way,’ he sighed and looked away from me.

I wanted to put my arms around him now more than anything but I couldn’t bring myself to move.

We both stayed quiet for a minute, and then he asked me the last question I wanted to answer:’ Were you happy, I mean…before all this happened, after I left, were you happy at least?’

I shook my head,’ I was fine’

‘And Tom?’ he asked.

Another question I really didn’t want to answer.

‘Tom is fine too,’ I replied.

‘Are you both still…?’ he asked.

‘No,’ I interrupted him,’ No, I’m no longer with him and we’re both fine, okay.’

I sighed out of frustration. How on earth could I even explain to him how I felt? How Tom did make me happy but it was always like some part of me was missing.

I turned my head to look at him,’ Are you happy? Were you happy in Asgard the past years?’

I realised my question sounded angry, which I hadn’t meant it to be.

‘I haven’t been happy since I lost you,’ he said softly making it impossible for me to drag my eyes away from him after that confession.

He took my hand and brought it to his lips, kissing it softly, his cold breath and lips made me shiver and I felt every last bit of anger disappear.

I would have given anything to be somewhere else with him right now, not in the middle of this deadly mess but alone in our cabin, away from the world, free to give into these feelings I thought were gone forever.

‘We have to get out of here,’ he said, realising just as I did that this wasn’t the place or time for anything else between us.  
He took my other hand and pulled me off the ground with him. 

‘I know, but there’s one other stop before we can go…I can’t leave without knowing if he is okay, Loki.’

‘Marcus?’ he asked.

‘Yes, I’m not leaving without him’

He let out a deep sigh,’ We should run while we still have a chance, Emma.’ 

‘This is not a discussion, you don’t have to come with me, if you want to run then by all means go.’

He shook his head and his lips curled up in a little defeated smile,’ Let’s go get him then.’

He opened the door and we entered the hallway, it was still quiet out there.

‘This time you stay behind me,’ Loki ordered.

‘Don’t worry, I don’t plan on getting shot twice.’

We made our way to the elevator and went back up to the ground levels.

‘Have you ever fired one of those?’ Loki asked as the elevator started moving.

‘I’ve had some training,’ I said,’ I fired plenty of them, I just never shot anything that was alive before.’

He opened his mouth to say something but stopped.

‘I wanted to ask you about that,’ I continued,’ What happens to people once they’re…infected?’

He didn’t answer.

‘Loki, are those still our people out there?’ I asked,’ Marcus said it’s like something that switches in their brain, is there a way to…un-switch it?’

‘No,’ he answered coldly and looked into my eyes, not searching for excuses or a way to reassure me, there was only honesty there.

‘Loki?’

’There is no way back from it, not that I have seen anyway,’ his voice was quiet but firm,’ I’m sorry, Emma.’

We both got startled by the sound of the elevator doors opening.

‘Are you ready?’ he asked.

No, I was anything but ready, I wanted to just turn back and run and search for a safe way out of here, if there even was one.

But then I thought about Marcus and I nodded my head.

‘Yes,’ I answered firmly,’ Let’s go find him.’


	11. Chapter 11

Loki stepped out of the elevator first, I stayed close behind him. The first hallway was empty, the control room where Marcus was supposed to be was in the hallway after this one.

It was quiet, which I hoped was a good sign.

We turned the corner when the sight in front of us froze me on the spot, and Loki too. The silence wasn’t a good sign, not at all. Whatever was making their way through SHIELD had already past here. 

The ground of the hallway was filled with injured people and dead bodies just laying in puddles of blood. The only sound I heard was the soft moaning of SHIELD colleagues that were too hurt to move and were holding on to their last string of life.

I covered my mouth with my hand in shock. Loki was looking back at me with a worried look on his face. 

‘We have to keep going,’ I whispered.

We made our way further down the hall until we reached the control room. Part of me didn’t want to look inside, afraid of what we’d find, horrified that there would only be more bodies. My fear was soon confirmed when we set foot inside the room. 

‘Marcus?’ I shouted, my voice was shaking as I made my way through the bodies on the floor.

Please don’t be here, please don’t be here.

‘Marcus?’ I tried again.

Loki had gone back to the hallway while I inspected every corner of the control room, hoping not to find what I was expecting.

He was lying in a corner of the room, barely moving and covered in blood.

’Marcus,’ my voice broke when I rushed towards him. I sank down to my knees and carefully took his hand. He was looking back at me but I could see he had trouble focussing.

‘Marcus?’ I couldn’t help but burst out in tears when I watched his eyes close,’ No! No, no, stay with me!’

His hand lay still in mine, no matter how hard I squeezed it I didn’t feel any response.

I took his face between my hands and looked into his eyes, pleading him to look at me and prove to me that he was still here.

‘Don’t leave me, don’t you dare leave me!’

‘Emma,’ his voice was a weak whisper.

‘I’m here,’ I gently put my arms around him,’ You’re not alone, I’m here.’

I could see Loki stepping back into the room, his face looked shocked when he saw Marcus but he kept his distance and stayed by the door.

‘Hold on, Marcus,’ I whispered, pleading, begging,’ stay with me.’

I knew it didn’t matter anymore, I could feel his blood on my hands, running out of his stomach and his head. There was no way he would come back from this, my mind had known it as soon as I laid eyes on him but my heart wasn’t ready to accept it yet.

I moved my face closer to his and closed my eyes, I needed to say this, I needed him to hear before it was too late. 

‘I want you to know, everything you did..I know how much you’ve done for me, Marcus. And I’m sorry if I haven’t always told you, I’m just not good at that emotional crap but…but you have to know what it meant to me…’

He nodded, it was small and weak but it was there, I knew he could hear me.

‘You helped me through the past months,’ I continued,’ you’ve always helped me even when I probably didn’t deserve it, you stood up for me and protected me…you were like…’

How could I even say it? He had been more than a friend to me, he was the closest thing I had to a family, the closes thing I had to…

‘A father,’ I whispered and let the tears fall quietly.

I could see tears falling from his eyes too now, his mouth twisted into a little smile.  
‘It’s…alright,’ he whispered with his last bit of strength,’ I…’

I had never watched someone die before, I never imagined you could actually see that person leave their body but I saw it, one minute his eyes were looking at me and the next there was nothing there anymore. He was gone, what I was holding in my arms was nothing more than an empty vessel, just a body…

‘Emma,’ Loki spoke softly,’ I am sorry but we have to get out of here.’

I could hear noises in the hallway and they were quickly coming closer. I heard Loki’s words but I wanted to ignore them, I just wanted a few more quiet moments with Marcus before I had to let him go forever.  
Every part of me knew Marcus wasn’t in here anymore but I couldn’t just leave him in this horror alone.

‘Emma!’ Loki insisted.

‘I can’t,’ I cried softly as I stared down at Marcus, my arms still wrapped around his shoulders.

‘He’s gone, Emma,’ Loki sounded impatient and he moved closer,’ We need to go now!’

I felt his hand around my arm and he pulled me off the ground and away from Marcus.

‘Loki no!’ I tried to break free from him but he was much stronger than me.

‘Stop fighting me,’ he hissed and pulled me with him out of the control room.

The reason for his haste suddenly became very clear: there were dozens of infected people coming at us at once with rage all over their faces. Eager to attack, eager to kill, and me and Loki were the only prey in sight.

Shit.

‘Do we fight?’ I already had my gun up and looked at Loki but he was just shaking his head.

‘There’s too many,’ he pushed me out in front of him, shielding me with his body while he started shooting,’ Run, now!’


	12. Chapter 12

We reached the elevator just in time, Loki quickly pushed me inside and I hit the button and watched the doors close, leaving us alone in the small quiet space.

The sudden silence fell heavy and I could feel Loki staring at me.

‘I’m sorry,’ he spoke softly,’ about Marcus.’

‘Don’t talk about him, please.’

He gently put his hand on my shoulder but I shook him off.

‘Don’t touch me!’ I snapped. 

It wasn’t that I didn’t want his comfort, or needed it, I just knew I would break if I let him come too close right now.

Loki understood and took a few steps back. He leaned against the wall on the other side of the elevator, eyes still on me.

‘I really can’t think about what happened right now,’ I explained,’ I need to keep it together, just…give me some space, okay?’

He nodded his head and didn’t say anything else for a while.

‘What’s level -11?’ Loki asked after a few minutes.

I looked at him in shock,‘ Who told you about that?’ 

He sighed before he gave me an answer,’ Marcus. He came to my room last night when all the portals started to appear. He told me if all else fails I should take you down to level -11.’

I stared at him while I let his words sink in.

Marcus knew. He knew things would get really bad and even then he was thinking about my safety. I felt the tears sting in the back of my eyes but pushed them away. 

Not now, please, not now.

‘Level -11 is the lowest level of SHIELD,’ I explained after I had caught my breath,’ it is only to be used in situations of very high alert, I’ve never been there and I don’t even remember it ever being used but it is supposed to be some underground tunnel, a safe passage out of SHIELD and eventually out of London.’

I sighed,’ But I don’t know how to get there, the elevator only goes to -1O, you probably need some special card or code or something and I don’t have…’

While I spoke the words I remembered the card Marcus had shoved into my hands earlier. I reached into the backpocket of my jeans and took it out.

Loki watched me as I put the card in front of the small scanner and the red light turned green. The elevator went down to -1O where it seemed to be stuck for a while untill all of a sudden it continued going down.

When the doors finally opened we could see a very long and dark tunnel. 

When Loki stepped out of the elevator the emergency lighting came on, showing us the endlessness of the hallway and a few doors. 

It was quiet and cold down here but at first sight it appeared to be safe.

We explored the hallway and I opened one of the doors. There was a bathroom with several showers, another room had a few beds in it and the biggest room had a small kitchen, tables and chairs, a control panel and screens and a big closet full of food supplies. 

It all looked very basic but equipped with everything you could possible need to survive in here for a longer period of time.

‘What is this place?’ Loki asked.

‘They build this in case of an…apocalyptic event, I guess. I don’t know if this one qualifies but…’

‘It does,’ he said as he gave me a serious look.

‘It is meant to be a safe haven for all SHIELD personel,’ I explained,’ a way to escape the building if the disaster is in here, or a place to hide and survive if the disaster is out there.’

‘What if the disaster is everywhere?’ 

‘Then there’s really no reason to survive at all is there,’ I sighed, my head was pounding and my eyes felt sore from holding back my tears. 

‘I think we should stay here for now,’ I then added,’ at least for a while, we should probably both get some rest.’

He came closer to me and looked into my eyes, for the first time in the last hours I looked back at him.

‘May I?’ he asked softly.

He carefully placed his hand on my forehead, letting the cold in his fingers work it’s magic against my heated skin. It numbed my pain for a few seconds and I closed my eyes, allowing myself to find relief in his touch.

His fingers made slow circles right above my eyelids, pushing the headache away. I leaned into him, it was so tempting to just let him take away everything, all the pain and anger inside of me, I knew he could if he…

‘Do you have your powers?’ I asked softly.

He shook his head,‘ It’s the same as with my memory, I know they are still there but I don’t know how to access them.’

I nodded my head and our eyes stayed locked, unable to break away from each other.

‘If I could I would take your pain away, every last bit of it,’ he then spoke softly while his thumb brushed my cheek.

‘I know,’ I whispered.

‘Why don’t you get some rest? I’ll check if everything is safe here.’

He stepped back from me and I nodded my head, feeling the loss of his cold touch instantly and craving it back. 

But he was giving me what I asked for, space, though right now I forgot why I needed it.

 

***

 

The warm water of the shower felt comforting as it fell on my skin but it wasn’t enough to wash away the pain of this day.   
It still felt like this was all just a nightmare and none of it was actually happening, the only thing keeping me sane at this point was having Loki by my side.

I closed my eyes and leaned against the wall of the shower washing the last bit of soap off my body. There was so much steam in here I could barely see anything. 

The shower had calmed me down a little bit but thoughts of Loki were still clouding my brain. Even now I could feel his piercing eyes on me and the heat in the shower suddenly made me long for his cold hands even more.

I sighed when I felt a sudden cold shiver running along my back, for a second there it was as if he was right here with me. It felt so real I couldn’t help but feel goosebumps everywhere. 

My heart jumped when I turned around and looked right into his green eyes. It hadn’t just been my imagination, Loki was standing there right in front of me, completely naked and getting more wet with every inch he moved closer to me.

His eyes were dark, his voice deep and filled with lust when he spoke,’ Tell me to leave.’

I was unable to form any words and he moved even closer, his face now merely inches away from mine and his voice had turned to a heavy whisper,’ Tell me to leave.’

His hands wrapped around my wrists while he held them down next to me and pushed me up against the wall. I could feel his hardened member push up against my folds when he leaned his entire body against mine, his lips on my skin,’ I won’t stop unless you tell me to leave.’

There were no words leaving my mouth, nothing left to say when every inch of my body wanted him to stay and finish what he started.

He kissed my neck, slowly, licking his way down to my shoulders while he pressed his cock in between my legs, begging for access.

’Yes,’ I begged,’ Please, yes.’

He released my wrists and let one hand sink down into my folds, putting sweet pressure right where I needed it.

‘Oh god, Loki…don’t stop…Loki…’

‘Emma,’ he was whispering my name, moaning it so softly but then it got louder and louder,’ Emma? Emma!’

I opened my eyes to suddenly find myself in a bed, not the shower, and Loki was sitting right beside me with a very confused and worried look on his face.

Oh shit.


	13. Chapter 13

‘Emma!’ 

Loki was shaking my shoulders hard, a worried look on his face,’ You were dreaming, is everything allright?’

‘Yes,’ I muttered embarrassed, I couldn’t look him in the eyes after what just happened in that dream,’ Did I…say something?’

‘You were screaming my name, I thought something had happened to you.’

‘I’m sorry, I’m fine,’ I waved away his concern, trying to move onto another subject,’ I don’t even remember what I dreamt.’

Of course I remembered. I remembered it in full detail and I was still burning up just thinking about it, but Loki didn’t seem to notice.

He got up from the bed and looked down on me with a serious expression on his face. ‘Do you want me to stay until you fall asleep?’

‘No.’ I answered way too quickly. 

‘Okay, well, try and get some sleep,’ he whispered and then left me alone in my agony.

Of course sleep didn’t come after that, I lied awake tossing and turning and reliving the past day and after a while my mind went back to the one place I didn’t want it to go…Marcus.

It felt like I’d been lying awake for hours when I finally managed to force myself to get up from the bed. My thoughts were driving me crazy, not to mention making me angry.  
I had to get out of this room so I walked into the hallway. It seemed unnaturally quiet, all I could hear was the buzzing from the lights. I couldn’t help but wonder what was happening above us in SHIELD right now. Would it be safe to go up again and how on earth were we going to find out if it was?

I didn’t want to think about it, I didn’t want to think about anything in this moment, I just wanted to sleep and forget for a while. I walked further down the hall untill I reached the other bedroom. Loki sat up straight on one of the beds when he heard me approach.

‘I can’t sleep’ I spoke quietly and stood in the doorway,’ Is it okay if I…?’

He nodded his head. ‘I couldn’t sleep either,’ he then said softly,’ I wanted to come to you but…I didn’t think you’d wanted me to.’

I stepped closer and sat down on the bed next to him, leaning against the wall behind us.

‘I don’t deal well with loss,’ I confessed,’ it makes me shut down and push everyone away, it’s not personal, it’s just me.’

He turned to look me in the eyes.

‘I get it, Emma, I know what you’re feeling right now because I’m feeling it too.’

Of course he did, I had been so blinded by my own loss that I had almost forgotten about his. My heart broke at the thought of it.

‘I’m sorry,’ I said softly,’ I’m so sorry, I didn’t…pushing you away is the last thing I wanted.’

I could see a hint of relief on his face.

‘Tell me what to do’ he then pleaded.

‘Just…can you just…lay with me and hold me?’ I asked nervously.

Loki didn’t hesitate. He took my hand in his and pulled me down on the bed. We laid down next to each other, just looking into each other’s eyes. There was so much affection and sadness in his it brought tears to mine. 

He gently put an arm around my waist and pulled me closer. I leaned into his hug, burying my head against his neck as I held onto him. Finally the tears I had been holding back all day started to fall.

Once I started there was no stopping it, I cried for Marcus, for the tragedy that was happening in our world right now, for Loki’s family and his pain, for all the questions and uncertainties, for our future if there would even be one. I felt him stroking my back and kissing my hair as he held me in his arms.

It didn’t take me that long to fall asleep, it was a deep and relaxing sleep this time, not filled with inappropriate dreams, being with him calmed me down, like it always had, he silenced my demons without even saying a word.

 

***

 

I woke up in an empty bed the next morning, or evening, I had no idea what time it was or how long I had been sleeping.

Loki was in the big room sitting behind the desk and the screens, he looked up when he saw me.

‘I can’t get them to work,’ he sighed with disappointment in his voice as he got up and faced me.

‘It’s alright.’

‘How are you feeling?’ he asked.

‘Better,’ I gave him a weak but genuine smile.

Crying my eyes out and having a couple of hours sleep had helped me see things clearer again. There would be a time to mourn Marcus but it was not now, we had to focus on surviving right now. I looked at Loki and noticed he still looked tired and his eyes had trouble focussing.

‘Did you sleep at all?’ I asked.

‘No, it’s fine, I slept for weeks, more sleep is the last thing I need.’

I stepped in front of him and forced him to look into my eyes.

‘Loki? Tell me what’s wrong, are you worried about your home?’

His eyes stared deep into mine and he shivered when I put my hands on his chest.

‘It’s you.’

You looked at him in surprise.’What?’

‘It kills me to see you suffer,’ he continued, his voice was drenched in anger but also sadness,’ I don’t know how to help you, I can’t make it go away or make anyone pay for it…I can’t even protect you, I’m entirely useless without my powers.’

I shook my head to make him stop,‘ You are not useless, you have no idea how much you’ve helped me, you’re the only reason I’m still alive, Loki

You sighed deeply,’ the only reason I still want to be alive.’

His eyes softened at my words and I felt his hands on my waist, pulling me close to him. Without giving it any second though I cupped his face between my hands and leaned in to kiss him.   
As soon as our lips touched Loki pulled me against his chest and the slow kiss quickly turned into a passionate clash of lips and tongues and heavy breathing. I never wanted it to end.   
He was still clinging to me when we stopped kissing to catch our breath.

‘Emma,’ he whispered and pressed his forehead against mine.

‘I have missed you so much, so very much, Loki,’ I said softly, biting my lip at the realisation of my confession but I didn’t care, I wanted him to know exactly what I was feeling. 

Loki didn’t speak but instead kissed me again, deeper and even more passionate than before. His hands found a way underneath my shirt, I shivered when his fingers found my naked skin and moved up to my bra.

‘Should I stop?’ he breathed into my ear.

‘God, no, please don’t stop,’ I sighed when I felt his lips on my neck, softly kissing and sucking my skin and making me weak on my feet.

Just as I was ready to give into him completely we both got startled by a loud thump coming from the hallway.

‘Did you hear that?’ I immediately pulled back from him and our intimate moment had come to an abrupt ending.

Loki reached for the gun on the table and gave it to me.

The noise was back again and becoming louder this time. It sounded like a group of people moving closer to us, moaning and screaming, this was not just people, they had found a way in.

Loki turned his head inside the hallway and then back to me.‘It’s just a small group, I can take them.’

’We can take them,’ I corrected him and followed him.

Loki stepped out in front of me and just started hitting everyone that stepped into his path. People were being thrown in the air and against the wall. He may not have his powers anymore but he was still a lot stronger than any human. 

I’m not sure what came over me in the next moment but my anger was suddenly so much stronger than my fear. I followed Loki’s lead and just started hitting people, kicking wherever I could untill they stayed down. I didn’t even use the gun, I was too caught up in the fight, feeling the punches and letting my anger out. And I had plenty of it.

Anger for Marcus, anger for me and Loki, and anger that these bastards disturbed our intimate moment and took that away from me.

I noticed that even though they were very aggressive they weren’t actually very good fighters. They seemed disorientated, too caught up in the kill and not in the fight which made them careless and not very accurate in their punches and kicks,   
It was easy to avoid the hits coming my way and hit them back where it hurt.

Of course, this was a very small group of about 8 people and I had Loki by my side. I imagined if there were dozens or hundreds of these coming at you and you weren’t trained to fight, you wouldn’t stand a chance.

Loki kicked the last one to the ground and then we just looked at each other, he had a little grin on his face.

‘What?’ I asked.

‘I had no idea you could do that.’

‘A lot has changed since you left.’

His eyes locked with mine for a few seconds before he walked up to me, took my face between his hands and kissed me again, soft and gently this time.

‘This hasn’t changed, has it?’ he then asked in a whisper.

I shook my head and wrapped my arms around his neck, holding him close as I whispered into his ear,’ This will never change.’


End file.
